I Thought I Was Just Bad at Coping”: What PMDD Taught Me About Resilience at Work
For years, I told myself I just wasn’t very good at coping.
I’d go through periods of showing up powerfully — leading teams, speaking in rooms full of people, delivering under pressure — and then, almost like clockwork, I’d crash. It wasn’t just tiredness. It was a sense of falling apart. Suddenly everything felt overwhelming: the noise, the pressure, the emails, even the people I loved.
And so I did what so many women do. I blamed myself.
Maybe I wasn’t cut out for the roles I was in. Maybe I needed to work harder, be more organised, or “fix” my mindset.
But what I was actually dealing with was PMDD — Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder — a condition that affects up to 1 in 20 women and people assigned female at birth.
And it was showing up right in the heart of my career.
PMDD, Not Personal Failure
PMDD is not just “bad PMS.” It’s a severe hormone sensitivity that can disrupt mood, concentration, energy, and self-perception in the luteal phase of the menstrual cycle. It often goes undiagnosed — and misunderstood — for years.
When I finally received my diagnosis, it was like someone had handed me the missing piece of the puzzle. The cyclical nature of my burnout, the sudden mood shifts, the physical exhaustion… they weren’t signs of personal weakness. They were symptoms.
And yet, PMDD wasn’t the full story either. Because beyond the biology was another question:
How do we build resilience when the system we’re working in isn’t built with our nervous systems and menstrual cycles in mind?
Resilience Beyond Grit
Resilience isn’t just about pushing through — especially for those of us whose cycles include extreme highs and lows.
True resilience is about capacity. Regulation. Boundaries.
It’s knowing when to act and when to rest. When to speak up and when to step back.
Through my training as a coach and HeartMath facilitator, I started learning how to work with my nervous system — not against it. One of the turning points was understanding coherence — the optimal state where the heart, mind, and body are in sync. In coherence, I could access clarity and confidence again, even on the hard days.
The Tools That Changed My Relationship With Work
Some of the most effective tools were surprisingly simple:
• Heart-Focused Breathing to reset in the moment
• Tracking my cycle alongside my calendar to plan around high and low energy phases
• Boundary setting and self-advocacy at work — without apology
• Naming what was happening and sharing selectively with those who could support, not shame
These weren’t quick fixes — they were recalibrations. And over time, they allowed me to start showing up with more self-trust and less self-blame.
You Are Not Failing — the System Is Missing You
If this resonates, please know: you’re not bad at coping. You’re navigating something real and often invisible. And while the workplace might not be set up for hormone sensitivity, your resilience strategy can be.
You don’t have to push harder to prove yourself.
You can learn to work with your body and your brilliance.
And that’s exactly what I support women with through The Resilience Reset and my Flow State programme for PMDD.
Let’s Talk
If you’re wondering how PMDD might be showing up in your work life — or you’re ready to explore a new way of navigating your cycle and career — I’d love to hear from you.
DM me on Instagram or book a clarity call here
